In days of yore—okay, as late as 1976—New York City babes vied for the title of “Miss Subways,” the beauty queen whose picture graced MTA trains, bringing mojo to mass transit.
While that particular tiara has been relegated to the great railyard in the sky, the city’s reputation for kitschy, quirky pageants is strong. Just take it from Miss Zombie NYC, or a contestant who won her crown in a scanty robot costume with bullet pasties.
The Burlesque
At the Miss Coney Island Burlesque Beauty Pageant, a queen is crowned every autumn and reigns until shortly after the following Labor Day. On September 16, dancer B B Heart took the tiara to become Miss Coney 2012. She succeeded 2011 queen Lefty Lucy (pictured), who spent the year on the throne thanks to a robot-themed act that featured a fembot swimsuit with pink fringe and bullet pasties. “I don’t take myself too seriously,” Lucy has said of the pageant win. “I just do what I love and hopefully get that love back.”
The Beefcake
The Miss New York pageant is a pretty run-of-the-mill affair that feeds into Miss America. Mister New York, on the other hand, was held this year at Lorenzo’s Cabaret in the Hilton Garden Inn in Staten Island to choose some arm candy for the female victor. Mr. Rochester Scott Larsen, 24, took the prize by singing and tap dancing—and also strutting his stuff in a pink bikini. With a bikini top. Gotta love that sense of humor.
The Canine
New York City adores the winner of the annual Westminster Dog Show—2011 victor Hickory, a Scottish deerhound, got a steak lunch at Sardi’s and a meet-and-greet with Michael Kors. (“She’s very elegant, and I like to see she is wearing gray,” he said.) Pup pageantry can be found at the annual Paws for Style charity runway show, where “Real Housewives” show up to parade pooches, and at the Octoberfest gathering of the Dachshund Friendship Club in Washington Square Park. But those last two aren’t particularly competitive. The ante—and the cool factor—were highest at the recent Hipster Puppies Pageant, held to celebrate the release of the eponymous book. There’s something special about a Scotty in wayfarers and headphones.
The Undead
NYC Zombie Crawl puts booze and gory make-up in the hands of zombie enthusiasts, and sets them loose on the streets of the East Village. Last year, the organization stepped things up a notch with a full-on zombie beauty pageant at Beauty Bar, and this year, on Sunday, October 16, they’ll return for a hot zombie contest. That means you’d better show a lot of skin, ladies and gentlemen. As long as it’s rotting off your bones.
The Scottish
Dressed to Kilt, “a Scottish evening of fashion and fun,” is more runway show than pageant. But there are winners: the designers, whose tartan creations are modeled by celebrities such as Chris Noth, Matthew Bomer, and Miss Guatemala Lourdes Figueroa (because… why not?). In fact, even being asked to model or judge means you’ve caught the eye of someone in the social set—and that you’ll almost certainly run into at least one Trump backstage.
The Gender-Bending
Drag King Murray Hill hosts an annual female-to-male transgendered pageant at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn. This year’s Mr. Transman featured a soundtrack provided in part by the “100% trans, 100% Jewish” polka-punk band Schmekel. Fitting, then, that the title went to Teddy B. Glazer, a.k.a. “Bagel Boy,” a bagel-maker who flung his bready treats into the audience and wowed with a hip-hop dance number. “These people rehearse,” Hill told Next magazine afterward. “They have costume changes. When I look at the talent that’s coming up, I’m just blown away.”
Lefty Lucy, Miss Coney Island 2011, photographed by Ben Trivett
